SR is 11 months!

Scarlett Ruth is 11 months old!  Time is flying.  Here is her latest album!

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Quick update

It is 10:20 pm on Sunday night.  I am just about to wake Scarlett for the first time tonight.  Last night went really well - I woke her every 3 hours and she immediately fell back asleep, as did I.  Hoping tonight goes just as smoothly...otherwise, I'm breaking out my breasts and their milk.
Scarlett has been okay today - she ate and played well.  But she often put her hand to the back of her head, which tells me that it's really bugging her.  Tonight in the bath, her wet hair matted to her head, I saw that the back of her head seems larger, swollen I guess.  I'm going to take her to the doctor tomorrow so he can check her out.  I'm so glad this isn't more serious, though.  That was quite a hit her little head took.  Poor girl.
On another note, Scarlett is making more progress with her signs (and sounds).  She has been signing "dog" for quite some time now.  I've been pushing her to sign "more" and it's finally coming...sometimes with me guiding her hands, but sometimes just on her own she will push her hands together when she wants more food.  And, she's starting to do the sign for "cat."  She roars like a lion when I say "lion" and I roar, and now she's trying to make the "quack" sound for duck.  This is just so cool!

I feel like the worst mom!

Things were going super well.  I usually don't have Scarlett at home with me for dinner.  Most nights I bring her to my parents' house, either so they can babysit while I tutor or go to the gym, or just so they can enjoy spending some time with her each night.  Once I go back to work, I will be picking Scarlett up from daycare and bringing her home for dinner so I'm letting my parents get as much time with her as possible.  Plus, it doesn't hurt that they live around the corner from me.
Tonight my mom was feeling sick so I decided to bring Scarlett home with me.  Usually I eat dinner once I put her to bed.  But I am tired of eating so late.  I had bought some fresh salmon today and I quickly popped that into the oven for us to share and I peeled and cubed a sweet potato to steam.  Scarlett was playing so nicely right beside the kitchen.  She had little containers and wooden spoons and lids all over the place and was having a ball.
The salmon was cooking, the sweet potatoes were steaming, and I was just cutting the kiwi for her dessert when she started to crawl towards me.  Scarlett grabbed onto my legs, and I was just bending down to lift her up - it's still a novelty that she can crawl at all, let alone to me as she just started a week or so ago - when she let go of my pants and slammed backwards down onto the tile floor.
OMGosh, I could hear her head hit that floor and see the shock register on her face.  She let out a scream and I picked her up, grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, and ran into the nearest room, sat on the floor and whipped out my breast.  She started nursing and I placed the ice pack on her head.  But I was panicking.
I called a friend who is a nurse.  She advised me to watch for any signs that things weren't right with Scarlett - throwing up, lethargic, and to wake her periodically throughout the night.
But Scarlett sat in her high chair and we both ate dinner together.  It was such a yummy dinner, and now that Scarlett feeds herself, I just had to place little amounts of fish and sweet potatoes on her tray and we ate together.  But she kept making a weird face and reaching back for her head, so it must have really hurt.
After dinner, she continued to seem fine.  She played nicely, she fought me when I tried to put her sleeper on (as usual), she had her breast milk, and we read books.  Then she went RIGHT DOWN for bed.  Lately she's been suffering from separation anxiety at night, so tonight it's a little weird for me that she went right to bed.
My place is a disaster.  I didn't want to leave her to go clean up.  I'll have to do that now.  And it's going to be a long night of setting my alarm, waking her, and then trying to get her back to sleep.  I guess it's good I'm still breastfeeding.  Thank goodness for breast milk - it's the instant solution to every problem.  Makes me want to reconsider T42 so soon as I'll have to wean her completely.
I was thinking already that I should eliminate one more feed, take her down to 3/day, as she'll need to be down to 2/day in one more month.  I thought I could give her cottage cheese or yogurt after her PM nap to replace the milk.  Then when cow's milk is introduced in one more month I'll use that after naps, if she'll take it.  But I have to get rid of the morning and night feeds soon too.  Then no more breastfeeding as a cure-all.
I just hope that Scarlett is okay.  That fall must have REALLY hurt.

Little Miss Independent

Scarlett loves to read.  I don't think there is anything she enjoys more than sitting with me to read a book.  Over the last few weeks she has begun to take more ownership for the stories.  She likes to turn the pages with her left hand...sometimes I have to read very quickly now to keep up with her enthusiasm for turning pages.  She has discovered touch and feel and knows exactly where the touch parts are.  She also uses her right hand to lift all of the flaps in the lift the flap books - again I have to read quickly to beat her to lifting the flap.

Well, the latest is that Scarlett has her own opinion about which books she wants to read and which ones she doesn't.  She now will grunt at me if I have chosen a book she does not feel like reading and will continue to grunt and climb over me to the book basket until she is happy with the chosen book.  It's amazing watching her exert her independence and her own personality.  It won't be long until she's choosing her clothes and other battles.  I can't wait!

On another note, the fertility clinic called me.  They were ready to schedule me ASAP.  It was funny when I told the receptionist that I wanted to book an appointment for March.  So, I have my appointment booked - unless my doctor happens to be away then, I have less than 4 months until I start talking about this.  That means I have less than 4 months to have Scarlett weaned so I can start meds.

I've taken the first step in T42.

I went to my GP this week and I decided to ask him for a referral to my fertility clinic.  I figured that although I don't want to go into the clinic until March to have my physical and discuss T42 to begin in the spring, I didn't know when I would be back at my doctor's office again and I didn't want to have to go and sick with a room full of sick people just to get a referral.  So, step number one is get the referral.  Really, mid-March (for March Break from work) isn't so far from now anyway...especially once I'm into the swing of things back at work.  That will also give me time to wean Scarlett from breastfeeding.  I figure I'll take her down to a morning and night feed only when I start work and have daycare give her cow's milk during the day.  From there I'll gradually eliminate the morning feed and then the night feed (or the other way around) and then be ready for my heavy doses of estrogen and progesterone to start building up my lining.  I'm so excited!
****Again, if you know me in the real world (I think there are only a small handful of you out there following me) please don't tell anyone about this - I need this blog as my outlet.  But you could let me know that you are following me so that I know I can talk to you in real time :)  Thanks.

I love this age!!!

Scarlett is just soooo much fun these days.  I love everything about being with her and I can't believe I have to go back to work in 2 months and leave her with other people to enjoy her while I take care of other people's kids - and I'm having daycare worries now which I'll save for another post.

I love how much she enjoys eating.  Every bite gets an "mmmmmm".  She starts all of her meals with "finger foods".  Seeing her pick up her egg salad sandwiches and putting the little pieces in her mouth is so cute.  And seeing her pick up the little bits of egg that remain on her tray.  And when she eats strawberries, she sometimes finds ones she doesn't want (for whatever reason) and so she transfers those pieces to the side of her tray.

Scarlett waves when she enters a program.  She signs dog in context.  She watches the numbers change on the elevator.

And now....she's crawling.  Finally!  At 10 1/2 months.  I know crawling isn't a milestone...but sometimes it's difficult to see babies at programs who are much younger than Scarlett crawling.  I never worried about it, I just would look at the other babies in wonderment.  But at the same time, Scarlett sits beautifully through programs, smiling and enjoying the songs while the other babies roam around the room oblivious to the actual program.  Now Scarlett is a tentative crawler - she came to me today, slow and steady wins the race - and she's realized she can get back into a seated position.  Let the fun begin.  No more just putting her down to play and walking away.