Another trip to the ER for J-Bear

Yesterday was SR's birthday.  I was really determined to give her a memorable day...and it was.  She had a great day....but J-Bear ended the day with a trip to the ER.  His second trip in his first 6 months.

Since last Saturday, J-Bear has been hoarse.  I even thought he was developing croup last Saturday, but it went away.  But the hoarseness didn't.  I was at a fellow choice mom's for a playdate on Tuesday and she is a doctor, so I asked her to listen to J-Bear's chest.  She said it was clear.  But the hoarseness didn't clear up.  I called Friday to go see the pediatrician but I didn't get an appointment until Monday (tomorrow).

In the meantime, I've been freaking out a little b/c SR has been coughing in her sleep a lot.  And I have a problem where my new next door neighbour (moved in just after J-Bear was born) is a smoker.  He rents his condo, and I was under the impression that the owners didn't want a smoker in there, but I guess he pays his rent on time.  I've complained and complained to the property manager here, and she had weatherstripping installed on my front door - it helps keep out the smoke, but not completely.  There was one night I left her a message saying "I may as well have my friends over smoking inside my place, the smell is so bad."

Could it be that J-Bear's hoarseness and SR's coughing are b/c of the second hand smoke seeping through?

Another reason to sell my place....I hope no potential buyers come by while he is home smoking....not just cigarettes either.

My mom and some friends who had smoking parents said that they probably wouldn't be affected this quickly....

So anyway, for SR's birthday, we went out for dinner with friends.  It was a much later night than we usually have, but SR napped late....I guess I wasn't thinking about J-Bear, b/c he was a mess, crying and not settling.  My friend's husband walked him outside the restaurant in the mall for a bit so I could eat something and J-Bear didn't sleep or settle down.  I should have realized something was up.  He went to sleep around 10pm but woke me at 1am with that terrible "I can't breathe in or out" croupy sound.  I picked him up and took him to the bathroom, ran the shower and called Telehealth Ontario - a free service with registered nurses to talk to.  She listened to J-Bear breathing and to what I was saying and she told me to take him to the ER.

I called my parents and my mom and dad came over - my mom stayed to watch S and my dad and I headed to the hospital at 2:11am - just saying b/c we were on our way home at 3:06am so it was a very quick ER visit.  We drove to the hospital where I delivered both kids - it tends to have a bad rep, but I think there are people who find fault at any hospital.  I felt we were taken care of quickly and efficiently and I was very pleased...especially with the nurse who squeezed my "he's almost six months but he looks like he's a year" baby in ahead of many other people.

J-Bear had croup pretty bad and was given the one dose steroid.  We came home and he was still very congested sounding and ended up in my bed to sleep.  This morning, when he woke up my mom wanted me to take him back to the ER but I held off, it was morning and everyone is worse in the morning and at night.  I ended up taking both kids out for a walk to get J-Bear breathing the cool air.  He's not doing great tonight, but he's not gasping for air.  He's sleeping (finally) but I'm sure I'll be woken up soon but hopefully not with the terrifying sound I heard last night.  Our pediatrician visit is set for 9:45am.

In other news, tonight was SR's family party with just my parents and us.  She has had a great weekend, including my mom taking her to the library this afternoon where she had a great time.  Here are just a couple pictures from our family party:

Are you one?  Noooo!  Are you two?  Noooo!  Are you three?  YEAH!!!!!

Yay, we blew out the candles!

Annual photo with candle!

My favourite picture.  SR in all her dramatic personality shining through, while J-Bear looks at the back of SR's head!

SR turns 3!!!

Dear SR,

I really wanted to make your third birthday so special for you.  Last night, while you were sleeping, I pumped up balloons (luckily I got the manual pump) and tied them all (very tricky to do) and hung them from your door and put them on your chair at the table.  I also hung green and purple streamers (your favourite colours) from your door.

Of course you woke up at 2:30 am, and when I came in you asked me what was in your door way.  Nothing gets past you.  Oh, and speaking of how clever you are...I was feeding J-Bear in my room last night, and you came in and looked in my closet, saw the striped gift bag and started looking through it.  "Who is this present for, mommy?"  You also woke up at 4:30 (are you competing with J-Bear for who can wake mommy the most?) and you were very disappointed to be told you had to go back to sleep.

So here you are!  My articulate, beautiful, clever, funny three year old girl!!!!  You astound me with how much you know and pick up on.  Your connections and inferences surpass many of my grade three students' abilities.  You are dramatic and can carry a tune and you are smart as a whip and love playing Dr. Scarlett....I wonder what you will be when you grow up, but please don't grow up too fast.

You are so meticulous with how you do things.  Holding Ernie in your right hand while your left hand rests on your doll Kaiya's back while you sleep.  Playing with your figurines.  Helping set the table.  Putting on your clothes.  But you are also carefree and slow as molasses sometimes - making me stop to smell the roses or lose my mind waiting for you :)

You make me laugh every day, and you are so snuggly with your hugs and kisses.  You are really reading and sounding out words.  The other day you saw the word "just" and said, "that says Justin".  You can identify how many are in a group without counting.  You know yesterday means it has already happened (but you don't realize that it doesn't mean three weeks ago).  You choose your own clothes and know how to match them.  You are silly and attention seeking, but just as happy to play on your own.  I could watch you for hours.

You speak so loud - you come by it honestly b/c I do too :)  And you like to tell everyone about your accomplishments.

You are so brave sometimes, and yet you get scared very easily too, b/c you seem to understand things.  Like when I say to hold my hand in the parking garage so a car doesn't bump you - you get scared and talk about being broken and how sad mommy will be.  You are timid about slides and swings, unless I convince you to try.  But you will easily stand on the top of the stairs in the lobby and sing for anyone who wants to listen to you.

You love Robert Munsch books - and seem to understand the humour already.  We've been talking a lot about having a Donor and not a daddy, but still sometimes you joke about having a daddy.  That's okay.  You have such lovely manners - ALWAYS saying please, thank you, thanks for having me, etc.

You love J-Bear so much.  He is the best present I could ever give to you.  You just connect on a level that I don't understand.  He makes you stop crying whenever you are upset, and he stops crying when he sees you too.  I hope your bond continues on as you grow up.  My wish is for you two to be very close.  After all, you were conceived on the same day :)  You're practically twins.

I made a cute smilebox album of your first 36 months.  Click the link to see how much you have changed, and stayed the same. SR is 3 years old!

It amazes me all the things you could do while only 2.  I can't wait to see what you learn by the time you turn 4.

I love you so much.  You have taught me patience and to try new things without feeling anxious.  You brighten every day and make me so happy and proud to be your mommy.

Love, Mommy

Another blog in bullets

I just finished watching season 2 of Shameless (American Version)....once I got started I had to watch it all over a couple of days - my place looks like a tornado has ripped through it but the show is just too good!  Kids are both sleeping in the same room, so I wanted to try to blog quickly before J-Bear wakes up for his "burp" (he always cries and needs a burp 30-60 minutes after going to sleep).  Then I go running into their room so he doesn't wake SR.  So here goes:

• Lately I feel like since I had J-Bear I am physically falling apart...or definitely getting older.  I definitely don't look like I'm turning 38 in a few weeks (please agree with me)...but my knees hurt now when I sit cross legged and I just feel older overall, some aches and pains, my teeth still bothering me even though I had the four wisdom teeth removed a couple months ago...maybe it's the sleep deprivation.
  
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• SR and I have been talking a lot lately about how her and J-Bear and I are a family and why she doesn't have a daddy.  I even pulled out one of our picture books that I thought she was ready for.  Tonight, as I was tucking her into bed without this being part of our conversation tonight, she said to me, "Mommy, I'm going to get a seed from a donor too."  I told her she didn't need a seed from a donor because she might have someone to be a daddy with her.  I think she's a little confused.
• Speaking of SR...she's turning 3 on Saturday!!!!  I can't believe it.  She's this little person with adult conversation skills.  And in between her crying and whining when she doesn't get her way, she is growing into a very independent little girl, getting dressed on her own, choosing her own clothes, using the bathroom when it is her idea (when it's mine there is sometimes a cry-fest), helping me out with things around the house.
• I'm not sure what you around the world hear about Toronto, but we had the biggest ice storm here.  Families have been without power for days and days...luckily we were okay.  The trees are strikingly beautiful, until you see the mass destruction.  Driving down a street with small trees is all crystalized trees:

  

  ice covered trees

   Then you drive down my parents street and see how the trees have all fallen down or are looking as if they may topple over at any time.  At night it is so eerie and it's scary seeing the trees lining the roads, on top of cars and driveways and houses....and it's just so sad how they have all died from this ice storm.  The pictures don't really do it justice.
  
  
  
  
  
• I still feel like J-Bear doesn't get nearly the same attention SR got as a baby and continues to get as a child.  Is it second child syndrome?
• J-Bear is not enjoying eating solids....so far we have had rice, oatmeal, barley, sweet potato, zucchini, banana, and cauliflower.  He cries as soon as he sees the high chair.  I keep trying all the foods.  So far, he willingly eats zucchini.  And today I introduced cauliflower (mostly b/c I had it readily available and it was quick to cook and puree)....and HE LIKED IT.  What is wrong with this baby?  Doesn't every baby like sweet potato and banana?  My baby likes zucchini and cauliflower?  Too funny!  My mom said he doesn't know how to open his mouth....and yet he knows how when it's something he likes.  
• Since the ice storm, we've been stuck inside...one of the perks of a condo is we can go down to the lobby and run around a little....here is SR's "hallway clothes".  PJs, dress up hat (not her winter hat), dress up scarf, and her purse with her keys, notebook, sunglasses, random papers.  Whenever my mom comes over (almost every night for dinner), SR insists on walking her to the elevator but my mom always has to wait for her to put on her "hallway clothes" even for the 30 seconds she's stepping out.  
  
• I took some new photos of J-Bear and the kids together...
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Overall, I feel so lucky to have my beautiful J-Bear and SR.  I am so excited about her upcoming birthday - she will have her special day Saturday, family party on Sunday, school birthday Jan. 6th, and friend birthday Jan. 12th.  
• I have not had a showing in about a week - I really need to keep my place tidier in case people come by but it's hard with two kids and being cooped up inside.  
• Kindergarten registration is getting closer and closer....
• I know I have more to say but it's slipped my mind.  
• Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate.

A quick post

I'm going to try to do a post in bullets and keep it simple.  I never get online to blog and it's already past my bedtime.  I have so much to report on and I am sure I'll miss things as I'm just going off the top of my head.

This mat leave has not been leisurely.  And it's flying by....J-Bear will be six months Jan. 2 and SR is turning 3 next Saturday!

• SR told me her friend M has colours on her fingers.  I said it's called nail polish (peels off) and she can have some too if she wants.  "No, I don't want nail polish.  I like M's nail polish but my fingers are beautiful like this."
• J-Bear does not like solids - tried all three cereals, and fresh pureed (with all my free time) sweet potato and zucchini....he can smile with his mouth closed...will keep trying.
• J-Bear is teething....he's been moody today and he's usually so easy going.
• I listed my condo - it's on the market and the market is slow.  I have not bought a home and am waiting to sell first.  Kindergarten registration is the beginning of January  (yes, SR will be 3 starting kindergarten) and I don't know where I am going to be living and I don't know where to register her....worried that I will miss the boat and the place I move to there won't be space and she'll have to go to a "holding school" nearby....and what if she doesn't get into the before/after school program?
• Still on a wait list for private school for SR.
• J-Bear is set to go to SR's current daycare...but if I move it may not be near this daycare and I don't have a place for him anywhere else.
• I am driving a new car - my mom bought my car and I have a new car that I will be paying for forever :)
• having a hard time with J-Bear and SR sharing a room....worried he will wake her and so I run every time he cries.  He usually ends up in my bed sometime between 2 and 4 where he stays until morning.  I never let SR into my bed.  
• J-Bear is a very big boy....so chubby and tall and did I mention chubby?  Very hard to carry him around unless I put him in the Moby Wrap carrier.  At 5 months he was 21 pounds.  Will my dad finally have his basketball player?
• J-Bear and SR have some special unspoken language between them....they are so in love with each other....I can't wait to watch them grow up together :)
• SR looks like a little Shirley Temple and does her pout beautifully.
• SR amazes me more and more every day with her knowledge of language.  I just can't believe how articulate she speaks and knows number sense while still 2 years old.  She spells her name at the speed of light and can also spell J-Bear's name and STOP without seeing the word in front of her.  
• She understands what is funny and why things are funny.
• She carries her Ernie figurine everywhere, even to bed, and sleeps with him in her right hand and her left hand on the back of one of her dolls.
• Speaking of sleeping, SR sleeps with a lot of dolls all wearing bibs, lying on their own pillows (washcloths) and covered by a blanket (burp cloths and wash cloths)...there isn't room for her.  There were a few nights she woke up screaming for me to find Ernie or find Bunnie's blanket (that looks like every other wash cloth in her bed) but I put a stop to that telling her if she woke me for those things again I would take whatever it is she was waking me about.

Okay, there's more...much more...but I need to go to sleep.  I hope to post for SR's birthday and J-Bear's six months soon.  SR is turning 3 on December 28, has her school birthday party on Jan. 6 and her real birthday party on Jan. 12.  It should be a busy couple of weeks.

J-Bear is 5 months!

Dear J-Bear,

Your mommy has no time to blog...or do much of anything these days...but I'm putting everything on hold to write you this letter :)

I can't believe you are already 5 months.

This month has been amazing.  You are sooooo affectionate.  Now you give me kisses, right on my mouth.  You open your mouth and slobber all over me.

After you turned 4 months we had your check up, and you weighed in at 20 lbs.  You are now at 21 lbs and you are tall too - obviously not taking after your 4'11 3/4" mommy.  Already wearing mostly 12-24 month clothes depending on the style.  

It's more difficult to feed you these days - difficult for me because you keep checking on me and you stop eating if I am doing anything.  You reach to hold my hand or my hair and you quickly pull off of me if I am talking on the phone or watching TV or holding a bowl of cereal above your head...okay that one would make me nervous too. :)

You have the most adorable giggle.  You are so ticklish, especially when I take your shirt off and I touch your arms.  

You have found your voice and you often wake me (because you are still in my room - your sister didn't like having a roommate but you can barely fit in the bassinet) singing in the middle of the night.  You cry to come into my bed around 4am, and once you are there you raise your right hand to hold my hand and then you fall asleep.  I never co-slept with your sister and I'm worried this may become a bad habit....but it's sweet and she doesn't want you in her room. :)

I still feel that I don't give you enough attention during the day even though we are together all the time.  But now that you are more interactive I try to read to you every day and really spend time playing with you.

You are a very easy going little boy.  Which is why I was so surprised that for two days you cried and cried and we didn't get any sleep.  At first I thought it was because you had the fever and virus your sister gave you.  But the fever went away and you were still so miserable.  It was confirmed that you had a double ear infection...ALREADY!!!   Your sister's didn't start until she went to daycare...I guess she's bringing everything home to you.

Your sister just adores you ...except she doesn't want to share her room with you :)  She's always touching you and smiling at you.  The other morning on our walk down to the car, SR was holding onto the stroller and you two were gazing at each other and both of you were giggling.  Like you are in on some secret together that I don't know about...and you're only 5 months.  Here's the picture of that morning walk:  

And tonight, you were crying because it was past your bedtime and we were finishing up with SR's bedtime.  And somehow SR got you to calm right down:

Today, as you enter your sixth month, you found your feet!  Adorable!  I wonder what you'll get up to this month.

I love you so much, J-Bear.

Love, Mommy