Cramping all day...Help!!!

Today has been pretty uncomfortable...Why is it that I am always worried about something? So much for breezing through my pregnancy! I have felt mild cramping and discomfort all day. At first I thought it was still remnants from the u/s "bruising" but it's completely different. I was reassured tonight by a friend that it's just my uterus stretching...but everything I've read on the internet says the pains will be short and sharp (which I've experienced in the first trimester when I would get out of bed in the mornings). But this has been a mild discomfort all day. There is no bleeding or fever or chills or anything the internet suggests would lead to a miscarriage...just this dull ache in my abdomen....so is this normal? I have to say, that I am very petite and yesterday and today I've noticed my belly protruding more than it has so far, so I'm really hopeful that it's just the stretching of my uterus. Ugh, I hate this worrying.

As for my mom...we reconciled this morning and spent much of the day together...that's me and my mom for you :)

One more day until first trimester is over!

My ultrasound was on Tuesday and I've already shared the story of that day. But what I didn't share was the pain that I was in Wednesday, Thursday, and even some tenderness this morning, Friday. I guess after 2 hours of being poked and prodded internally and externally, I have some internal bruising. I say internal b/c I can't see anything, but there is definite tenderness. Of course I freaked out! What if the baby is hurt? I read online, most people have never experienced bruising or tenderness after an u/s...but I guess not all babies are stubborn on the day of the IPS testing. Those who have said that there's nothing to worry about. I also called my clinic yesterday morning, and the nurse I spoke to reassured me that the baby is fine...but I can't help but wondering still, if I'm so tender and sore...still 3 days later...wouldn't my baby feel anything? That was a lot of poking and prodding. Anyone else have experience with this?

Yesterday night I went out with my friend and I shared my news. Overall, it went well...actually better than I thought it would. But she has 2 weeks now until we go out again to try to come to terms with things...and by then she'll have either had her next transfer or will be just about to have it.

In other news, my mother and I had a huge fight yesterday...in our typical fashion (about my being single)...but I kinda thought she was going to give all that a rest now that I'm pregnant....she would like me...her almost 13wk pregnant daughter to start "dating" now...to have a "friend" for when the baby arrives....HELLO???? I haven't even told my actual friends yet....male or female....I kept telling her that my blood pressure was rising (as it does when she starts on me) and that she had to stop. But, in true mom fashion, she kept going - I couldn't move anywhere b/c we were side by side in the car. And then I lost control...freaked out at her....started hyperventilating...told her if I miscarry it's her fault....I calmed down enough to get out of the car and enter my building. When I called later in the evening, I was expecting her to ask me how it went with my friend. But no, she is standing on her head expecting an apology....WTF? How about an apology to me for continuing to nag me when I asked so many times to stop. Ugh! This cycle never ends...I don't know why I thought it would get better when I was pregnant!

Stubborn little thing :)

I'll start with my OB appointment yesterday. I have read wonderful things about this doctor, but also that the wait is terribly long...and it was! I was talking to two women, each on their second baby and using this OB for the second time. They told me the best time to come is at 2pm after lunch (so that's when I scheduled my next appt). Also, one of the women was a teacher and she told me that she would never take time off work for the OB...just to make a 3:30 appt and know that there's a wait anyway so to arrive as soon as possible after work....good advice.

The OB was wonderfully nice! Friendly, and totally supportive of my choice to become a Choice Mom. He told me he was excited to get to know me and how I came to be on this journey. I had to do the urine protein test (as I will always do), I got weighed, had my blood pressure checked...and I got to hear the baby's heartbeat....he said it might be too early to hear...that normally he has to search for it...but there it was...loud and clear and strong :) And that was my appointment!

Today was my 12 week u/s. My mom and I arrived right at 12:30....I was bursting already when I got there...I peed, and peed, and peed some more...and when the tech took me only about 10 minutes later, she let me pee again. She wasn't going to do an internal, but said I don't need to be so full.

This is the first part of the IPS test...full u/s but needing to measure the thickness of the back of the neck. And wouldn't you know, my baby was sleeping and upside down....but so cute...the little legs dangling in the air...that's the picture I wish she had given me! She could not get the back of the neck. She had me pee it all out, thinking my bladder could be the culprit...I had to cough and giggle and cough some more....nothing...she had me walk up and down in the hallway...the nurse suggested sugar water and I drank that..she even tried an internal u/s. It's a good thing my appointment was at 12:30, b/c she had to get the picture that day and she was leaving at 3pm. My poor mom was asked to stay in the hallway the whole time...she doesn't get called in until the measurements are all finished. Finally, she suggested I go outside and eat my lunch (which was in the car) and walk around a little (so we went to the convenience store in the same plaza and I bought a chocolate bar - I never buy or eat chocolate bars). At 2:30 we tried again....internally first....NOTHING! So, she tried once more externally...and SHE GOT THE IMAGE AND THE MEASUREMENT! My pelvic bone is going to hurt so much tomorrow from the pushing...and she got the measurement right from the bone area.

After all of that, I went to see the doctor. My baby is measuring at 12w1d and I'm at 12w3d (which I knew all along, but then 2 u/s ago they told me I was one day earlier, so I'd been counting today as 12w2d, but now the RE went back to my original calculation of 12w3d)....so my baby is only lagging by 2d...hopefully that's okay...The heartbeat was at 149bpm which is great...he said anywhere between 140 and 160 is the range. And the back of the neck is in the perfect range too...so first part of IPS is over. Tomorrow I will go for the b/w for the second part of the test, and then in week 16 I go for the final b/w....I go back on week 18 for the results...unless I hear from the company compiling the results first...in which case, that's bad news...well, not terrible...just meaning I need an amnio...hopefully the fact that the neck is fine is a good first start.

And, my placenta has attached in the right place....BUT....now I need to be monitored b/c it goes right down beside the cervix....now it's fine, but if it starts to cover the cervix, I will have Placenta Previa - will need to research that more....in which case I will need to go on bed rest eventually I think and watch for bleeding...in other words, I've started to slowly work out again, and I was thinking of trying more than I'm doing...but now I don't want to risk anything. I'll mention all of this to my OB in 4 weeks.

So that's the update....I went to the movies tonight with some girls...the same ones that were smoking cigars on the weekend....we went for dinner first on a patio and they wanted their cigars...but I asked them not to. One of them said, "you never used to have a problem with this" and I said, "I just can't be around it right now." But, I didn't tell them yet. I will tell one close friend on Thursday...this is the friend that will be the most hurt by my not sharing earlier...she's been trying for 3 years (2 years with fertility clinics) and all around her, her friends are getting pregnant. But I've been her listening ear through everything...and yet I stayed quiet....this will be the hardest friend to tell...I was going to wait for the 21st when we are going to the theatre and then for dinner after, but I don't think it's fair to wait that long. This way she has 2 weeks to try to deal with my pregnancy before we go out again. I hope it goes well....then I'm telling a pregnant friend on Sunday...after that, I'm starting my reveal :)

It's been a while since I last posted

Life got ahead of me over the last little while...finishing report cards and moving classrooms and just winding down from another school year.

In the meantime, I've been counting down until my 12 week u/s. I am officially 12 weeks today!!! My u/s is in 2 days. On one of my message boards, someone posted about a missed miscarriage...and that totally freaked me out. Apparently, she had a 7.5week u/s and the baby was fine, and then at 12 weeks, there was no more baby. That's a scary thought. The reassurance for me was that I also had a 9 week u/s and everything was fine. I didn't want to ask the woman online if her symptoms were still there or if they were starting to subside....I know that she's grieving her loss...and I started reading online about these missed miscarriages...big mistake!

My mom told me to stop reading online...everything with me is fine...and I'm really hopeful...I have so many symptoms of pregnancy, and I get more by the day....but it's hard not to worry in between u/s.

It's funny, b/c I thought I would be so cool with being pregnant...I would keep up with my daily workouts (running, step class, weights)...but I haven't worked out at all - that's what bleeding in early pregnancy will do for you...only now have I started walking and light weight training again...very light weight training.

I am meeting with my OB for the first time tomorrow, 12 wk 1 d, and my mom is so nervous...she doesn't want him to jeopardize anything for my u/s the next day...she's insisting that I not have any sort of examination..."tell the doctor that you just wanted to meet him and have a base-line (weight and blood pressure and stuff) and you'll send him the results of your u/s." We'll see what I decide to do...in the meantime, i was kind of hoping he would be able to hear a heartbeat or give me some reassurance that everything was fine, even though I know everything is fine.

This has been a huge secret for me...it's been really hard having no one know what's happening. I saw the movie SPLICE on Friday night....loved it...and luckily I didn't have nightmares about what my baby is going to look like when he/she arrives...for those of you who don't know, Splice is about scientists who mix human DNA with animal to create a new being. Fantastic Sci-Fi/horror....but not so great for pending parents.

I was playing cards with the girls this weekend...and they were smoking cigars...and I was getting really freaked out about the smoke - telling them to keep it away from me....but neither of them would think to wonder why all of a sudden I care so much....this has been an incredibly hard secret to keep...and hopefully, if all goes well on Tuesday, I'll finally be ready to share it...with each friend, one at a time, face to face....it's going to be a long summer of sharing!!! Hopefully the reactions will be shock followed by excited!

Now I just need these allergies to clear up once and for all!