Day 5 Embryo Freeze

I got the call from the Embryologist today - 9 of my little embryos survived to day 5!!!! The Doctor told me that some were of high quality, some of medium and some low....but 9 survived. One hurdle down...I have two months still to decide how many to transfer...actually, not 2 months...1 and a half months - 2 months until my pregnancy test!!! But I'm leaning towards one great embryo to start with - I really can't fathom carrying and then caring for twins if I can avoid it, even though I would love to have my family right away.

As for my potential OHSS - I don't feel good. I am still very bloated - consuming salt in my food and drinking my G2. The pain in my ovaries is still present when I walk. I got T. to take over the field trip on Monday...there's no way I could handle walking around the science centre for a full day at this point. She has already done so much for me - covering for me when I'm late in the mornings for duty, taking me to my ER, taking over the field trip. What do you do for someone who has done so much for you?

I'm looking forward to my weekend of just relaxing. I hope I can sleep in Saturday and Sunday morning. And I hope this bloating goes away soon. Dr. D. thinks it will be gone with my AF a week today - but still, that's another week of this feeling.

Still feeling crummy

This will be short...I'm very bloated and sore....uncomfortable....new remedy, drinking G2 and increasing my salt intake. Seeing the doc tomorrow. Hope this goes away soon.

The day after...

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and excited. Now it's 1:30pm and I'm miserable. And I feel like I can't really complain to anyone b/c I'm doing this to myself. And yet, I've read everyone's posts online, and why is it justified to be able to go through this with a partner, but not by oneself?

The good news is I have 14 embryos. I hope that many of them make it!

Today I generally feel like crap, and I'm hoping it's not early onset of OHSS. My stomach is really sore and I'm bloating a lot, although I haven't eaten much. I called the clinic to find out what to do. The nurse said she will check with Dr. D. In any case, I am to schedule a review with Dr. D. to plan our next steps. This will include a biopsy of my uterus and the decision of when to transfer.

In the meantime, I don't know why I'm so upset...maybe just too much for one day. It's only one day since the egg retrieval (and I got good news), and I started feeling sore at the grocery store, and then my dad was here helping me pack, but I just got aggrivated b/c I was feeling crummy.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day.

Egg Retrieval Day

It's been a very long day! I was awake at 6:30am, knowing T. was coming to pick me up at 7:45. The hardest part about the morning was not eating breakfast. I'm so routine oriented that any change throws me off.

We got to the clinic and we were taken inside the "IVF" door that I've only seen but never entered. There were really nice reclining chairs and a couple were already in the room.

I was instructed to change into the lovely pale gown and to cover my feet and my head with a blue hat. Then I came back to the recliner and sat down. T. covered me with a blanket. It was such a nice comfort having her there. She kept me occupied on things, helped make conversation with the other two people, and was just looking out for me.

I was told to take an ativan. It was fine, but I don't really think I needed it. I was calm before hand. I think the ativan got me a little on edge.

Then the nurse was ready to start my IV. She tried one vein on my wrist - it hurt...and she missed....slight bleeding.

So, she tried to find a vein on the top of my left hand...and what do you know? Blood started oozing everywhere...she tore my vein.

The nurse went to get help while T. applied pressure. I felt bad, I told T. not to touch me without gloves on, but she didn't care - and no blood touched her anyway.

The nurse returned with the girl who takes my blood all the time. She made a decision to put the iv in my arm. I just had to keep my arm still, which was fine.

So, in I walked into the ER room (egg retrieval). I had to get up onto a bed and put my calves into these high stirrups. I was given a gas mask, a blood pressure monitor was wrapped around my right arm, and a heart beat monitor was stuck to my finger.

When Dr. D came in, they admisitered the "sleepy" drug. The last thing I remember was asking him if he was using a small speculum. Then I was pretty much in and out...I remember pressure, but that's it.

When it was done, I was walked back into the recovery room, where I talked to Tula and the other couple, and was pretty much in and out of consciousness.

They told me that they retrieved 16 eggs...that's pretty good...hopefully they'll be able to make many strong embryos from them. Hopefully they'll know where my sperm was and I end up with the baby I'm supposed to have.

Okay, so one step down. I know the ET doesn't work for everyone...but maybe for me it will. Maybe Dr. D will decide that I can have my transfer in March instead of April, but in any case, I hope it goes smoothly.

It's 8:pm. I've missed the whole day. I have so much work to do, but it's not going to get done tonight. I think I want to just lie in bed and relax...sleep more...I deserve it after this last week. I will update you ASAP on when I know how many embryos were created!!

I'm going to burst!!!

Could I fit another follicle inside my aching ovaries? I think not! This is completely out of control! I have more than 20 follicles. The biggest are at 2.6cm. And I still have another full day of growth to get through.

I should be in bed. It's 9:30, and I've been awake since 4:30. On one hand, I get to sleep in tomorrow to 6:15. But on the other hand, I am forced to stay awake until after 10:30 b/c I have to give myself the "trigger" shot at exactly 10:30.

Tomorrow night I start the antibiotic. Then, Saturday morning, T. is going to pick me up and take me to my egg retrieval. I'm just so excited for this part to be over. I hope pregnancy doesn't feel this uncomfortable. I pretty much just feel so full and bloated. My ovaries are bursting! Hopefully this will lead to a lot of healthy little embryos that will be my future child(ren).

Today Dr. D. told me that we will wait 2 cycles to transfer the embryos to let my body heal from this ordeal. I've had some time to deal with this news, as I was really upset when I heard I had to wait until March. What's another month? It will give me time to get settled with my place and get back into a workout routine and resume a bit of normalcy.

55 minutes until trigger shot! I will write again when I have recuperated from the egg retrieval.

Transfer postponed!

Another early morning. Another stressful day. I was at the clinic really early today - only the doctor was there before me. So, I'm still producing follicles...and I'm not ripe to trigger yet. But today I was told that I won't be having my transfer following the egg retrieval. And I was just devastated. All of this, only to have to wait another 4 weeks: 2 weeks to end this cycle, and 2 weeks to start up the next one. In the meantime, I still don't know what day my egg retrieval will be. I'm apparently ODing on estrogen, so I had to stop taking all injections.

I can't even believe I'm still hanging on. Between the early mornings (tomorrow I'm up at 4:30 to go to Mississauga before work), the pressure at work, the marking, the report cards, the tutoring, the hormones, and my out of control mess at home, I don't know how I'm keeping it together all day.

I'm okay now, but this morning I was a wreck. I just needed some time to come to terms with the fact that I won't be transfering this cycle. Now I'm okay. But worried. What if I get the OHSS that they are worried about?

I'll cross that bridge if I get to it. In the meantime, it's almost bedtime and I'm wiped!

OVERWHELMED AND OVERTIRED!!!

Today has been a very challenging day for me. Some might say that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. The truth is that I'm just beyond overwhelmed...everything has finally caught up with me. I'm not feeling the same lightness about this whole thing, giggling about how many follicles I have. This is suddenly very very very real. All of a sudden I am realizing how much money I have invested in this and what if it doesn't work, which is a very real possibility.

All of the running every morning, getting up at 5 am, and then working full time and keeping up with my life; packing up my condo to move to my parents'; getting marking and report cards done! It's just all so overwhelming right now. Plus, the not knowing what day things are going to happen on. I need stability, and I don't have that right now with the unknown. Not to mention worrying about depending on someone other than my parents to drive me to my egg retrieval on Saturday if that's the day it has to happen...plus, I have done something bad to my tummy...was doing really well with the injections, until last night...now it's all purple and blue!

So, it's 6:09pm on Monday night...I'm so tired, but I have so much marking to do...so I'm going to sit myself down and try to accomplish something...wish I could have a nice, stiff drink...but alas, I know I shouldn't...and all of my alcohol has been moved out of here already! But a cup of steaming hot decaf tea isn't going to cut it! LOL.

What am I going to do with all of this sperm?

So, the plan has now changed! When I had my u/s today, they discovered 20!!!! follicles growing! I had two choices:

a) carry on with the plan to have an IUI but have most of the eggs retrieved prior to the IUI and hope for the best.

b) change to IVF, still have the eggs retrieved but turn them into embryos.

I went for option B...now I only need one vial of sperm to make all of my embryos....what in the world will I do with 3 extra vials?

Today I forked over a lot of money - paying for the IVF and more drugs and storage of my embryos for one year.

Just now, I went to do my two injections, starting with the new one. It looked so easy when I was taught how at the clinic - but that was b/c they had both types of needles: the long, thick mixing kind, and the short, fine, injecting kind. They only gave me the mixing kind. I decided to try to insert the meds with the thick needle, b/c it said to insert immediately. Well, it was way too thick (and scary looking). I called Shoppers, and they had insulin needles - so I quickly flew over there to get them. I hope I'm okay having put in the meds after a period of time (30 minutes maybe?).

This is all going to happen very quickly. Tomorrow is CD11. I will have u/s and b/w for day 11 (Sun.), day 12 (Mon.), day 13 (Tues.), and day 14 (Wed.). I took an injection today that will prevent ovulation so that my follicles can grow as big as possible and then be retrieved. In the very near future, I will have to go to have my eggs retrieved - I will be put out for that. 5 days later, I go again to have my IVF. So, basically this could be done in another 12 days at the most.

In the meantime, I've been waking up between 5 and 5:30 every day and I'm exhausted. It's not even 9pm yet. And, I didn't do have of the things I wanted to today. I better get used to that, once I have a baby....but I don't have a baby yet, and I have lots of time to prepare for that.

Off to bed.

Cycle Day 9

It has been a very long week of waking up EARLY (5am) and being poked and prodded...only to work all day, come home late, and poke and prod at myself. So, here's what's been happening to me...

The good news is, the gonal-f is working! It is working AMAZING...so good in fact, that I'm running into trouble. On Wednesday (CD7) I had 4 growing follicles. By today, (CD9) I am up to 8!!! So, here's the problem. Either I have to continue growing more follicles and switch to IVF...or, I have to lower my dose of the gonal-f and hope that some of my follicles die off. If they don't, then I have to have some eggs retrived before having my IUI.

I'm not ready for IVF. Instead I am opting for the lowering of the dose and hoping for only a few eggs to flourish. If not, I will have one of my parents go with me on the day of my IUI to drive me home b/c I'll be groggy from the egg retrieval.

So much for my day of sleeping in tomorrow morning. I have a 7:10am u/s and b/w. Then another one at 7:50 on Sunday morning.