It's 5:04am. I am showered and my jewelry (including my naval ring) have now all been removed. They called last night to move my time earlier, to 8am instead of 9:30...needless to say I didn't get much sleep - a preview of what's to come :)
I called my mom yesterday and had a good cry...made me feel a lot better. By the time they called me from the hospital (after 10:30pm) I was excited and giddy. I quickly called my parents and my doula to reschedule everything with them and tried to settle down - HA!!!
Just before I rush off to dry my hair, I just wanted to take a moment to a) relish in my last time of truly being on my own, and b) wish my baby an easy entry into this world.
I will post more when I am settled and a mommy!!!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Me Again...same Last Day
Emotional Breakdown!!! Emotional overload....definitely on the verge of a major cry! Think I'm just so totally completely overwhelmed. This is all way too much for me! Everyone is SOOOOO EXCITED....so why don't I feel sooooooo excited?
Last Day!!!
I haven't blogged in ages!!! I don't know if it was laziness or if work/life got in the way. I'm kind of regretting it now because I have had an eventful pregnancy. Since I started the third trimester I have been on watch for pre-term labour. Had the celestone injections to boost the baby's lungs. I was sick a couple of times. I have had multiple u/s to check my cervix length which shortened rapidly. But the baby stayed put!!! Over the last several weeks, my left foot/ankle/calf/knee/theigh have swelled and swelled until it is no longer recognizable as a foot anymore. There is no blood clot, but also no explanation for why I only have swelling on one part of my body, and why it has gotten so severe.
Tomorrow I will meet my little baby. She will only have been in the womb for 37 1/2 weeks, but that is the day my OB was able to do my c-section. People keep asking if I'm nervous or excited. I think I'm in denial. Yes, I want to meet my baby. But I'm also terrified that I don't know what to do with a baby. I'm afraid of being in the hospital on my own with a baby, recovering from surgery and not knowing what to do, and not having the help from the staff that I know I'm going to need. I can't worry about it. It will be what it will be.
I am still not set on her name either. I've had all this time to prepare and think and choose. Maybe when I meet her it will all make sense and her name will match her little face....
In the meantime, I'm going to get through my last day/night of being just me...why do I feel like crying if this is what I wanted so much? Is it apprehension? Is it nerves? Is it that I'm just not feeling great today?
I think I will be back to blogging after the baby comes...I forgot how good it feels to put my thoughts down.
Next time I write, I will be a mommy :)
Tomorrow I will meet my little baby. She will only have been in the womb for 37 1/2 weeks, but that is the day my OB was able to do my c-section. People keep asking if I'm nervous or excited. I think I'm in denial. Yes, I want to meet my baby. But I'm also terrified that I don't know what to do with a baby. I'm afraid of being in the hospital on my own with a baby, recovering from surgery and not knowing what to do, and not having the help from the staff that I know I'm going to need. I can't worry about it. It will be what it will be.
I am still not set on her name either. I've had all this time to prepare and think and choose. Maybe when I meet her it will all make sense and her name will match her little face....
In the meantime, I'm going to get through my last day/night of being just me...why do I feel like crying if this is what I wanted so much? Is it apprehension? Is it nerves? Is it that I'm just not feeling great today?
I think I will be back to blogging after the baby comes...I forgot how good it feels to put my thoughts down.
Next time I write, I will be a mommy :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)