Ambulance Ride to ER

I'll start this post with the ending - everyone is OKAY!!!  But this afternoon was probably the scariest of my life.

To precursor the story, as an exclusively breast fed baby, JM is pretty much with me all the time.  I have started pumping and my mom has attempted to give JM the bottle.  The first bottle was okay.  Then last Saturday I went to a birthday party with SR and my mom had a very hard time giving JM the bottle...he kept sputtering on it, but I told my mom that he chokes on my breast milk too, especially during my let down (for those of you who don't breastfeed, it's when the milk is released from the ducts).

Then yesterday I had a tooth pulled (but it feels better gone than it did in my mouth) and my mom was babysitting JM.  He refused the bottle, but luckily I was only gone a short time.

So we decided that we should give him a bottle every day - only 2 oz at a time as that is really what I get per side per pump and I usually only pump one side.  Also, SR is transitioning into the preschool room in just over a week, and she will get to go on her first field trip on the 30th.  Because I am not working, I can go too and enjoy my time with her.  This is a good trip too - Legoland - and so expensive if I were to just take her, and free if she goes with school.  I can't even imagine how engorged I will be being away from JM all day and I can't sneak off to pump on a trip.

Everything I did in this situation was wrong today.  First of all, I woke a sleeping baby.  But he had been sleeping since his last feed at noon and it was 3pm.  I don't want him to sleep the day away either as I need my sleep at night (and yet here I am blogging when both kids are sleeping).  I woke him up, and we warmed up the 2 oz bottle.  I changed his diaper to wake him.  But he wouldn't take the bottle from my mom.  I decided to try, but he wouldn't take it from me either.  I thought it might have been b/c he could smell my milk (even though it was breastmilk in the bottle).

I put JM onto the breastfeeding pillow and was going to just breastfeed him, but then I tried the bottle again.  SUCCESS!!!  When lying like he is breastfeeding, JM took the bottle beautifully.  ****I realize now that as I don't know anything about bottle feeding, I let him drink the air in the bottle after the milk was gone...BIG MISTAKE***

I raised JM up to burp so that I could continue his feed using my fresh breastmilk.  But he wouldn't burp.  He couldn't even get a noise out.  I looked at him and his face was turning red.  His eyes were bulging.  Milk was coming out of his nose, and almost frothing at his mouth.  I started to scream "CALL 911" to my mom.  My dad and I kept passing him back and forth trying different burping methods.  My mom called 911 (she told me later that she hesitated b/c she didn't know where she would find a phone - we were all in a state of panic).  My mom got 911 on the phone and still JM was choking on something.  He couldn't get the burp out.  It felt like an eternity.  I felt completely helpless.

My dad told me to stand outside and wait for the ambulance - they almost drove by their house, but I flagged them down.  By the time the paramedics came in the house, my dad had gotten JM to burp and he was crying.  RELIEF...but could there be brain damage?

As the paramedics came in, JM suddenly stopped crying and passed out - into the deepest sleep.  That scared us again.  He's always so awake and alert after a feed.

The paramedics checked JM and said he appeared to be okay and was just sleeping, but they suggested we go to the hospital.  The closest hospital was too busy so they took us somewhere else.  I went in the ambulance and my dad went to get SR to bring her home to my place for dinner with my mom.  Then he came to the hospital to meet me.

Hooked up to monitors for the ambulance ride.

We got to the hospital and JM continued to be in a deep sleep - got through triage and they put us into a cubicle with curtains - I guess to separate him from the germs.  We got to bypass a lot of the wait because he is a baby.

I'm rushing through the ending b/c I'm exhausted and it's 10:30 and I should get a little sleep before JM wakes up to feed.

The doctor was really nice and thorough.  He agreed it was probably the extra air he swallowed that caused this.  He suggested I take him to my own pediatrician which I will try to get him in to see tomorrow.  He said that he did not turn blue or lose consciousness so those are great signs that everything is fine.

My mom is freaked out and doesn't want to feed him alone.  But then I can't go anywhere, and I want to do some things with just SR - and she already missed out on this summer of fun activities.

I have to say, SR was amazing tonight with my mom.  Very well behaved (I haven't blogged about her behaviour yet)!

My eyes are starting to close.  I'm going to publish this.  Definitely my wake up call to pay more attention to my babies and hug them a little tighter :)

JM is One Month!!!

Actually, JM was one month a week ago - and it's taken me a week to find the opportunity to sit at the computer to blog.  And already he has changed so much.  So, to follow the way many of you celebrate each month, I'm going to write JM a letter and follow it with my smilebox photo album

Dear JM,

I can't believe how quickly your first month flew by!  When you were born, I couldn't believe how big and pink you looked.  It wasn't long before you were in my arms and we quickly found our favourite position together, snuggled with your head under my chin and your body pressed to mine.  Still one month later, that is both of our favourite ways to sleep - when you are older I will show you the Friends episode where Ross and Joey nap together.  I have never slept better than when you are snuggled into me - and usually it's only a brief doze here and there but I wake up feeling so rested.

You have really been easy going....until now.  It must be hard to have to compete for your dinner with a toilet training toddler.  You wait so patiently for your milkie at bedtime, get settled into your latch, and then get torn away and placed into a pack 'n' play because your big sister is calling "mommy, I need you" and has to make a pee or a poo for the 3rd time since you latched on originally.  For the most part, you sit back and relax for those few minutes we've been separated until I'm able to get back to you.  But, lately, you've discovered that you can yell and cry and maybe you'll get to have your milkie again.  Is this a vision of what is to come - you and big sister competing?  It's going to be fun.

Speaking of milk, you love to eat.  At one month, you already weigh 11 lbs 6 oz.  Two weeks before you weighed 8 lbs 13 oz.  And yes, you now have a double chin - very kissable!  

Although your sister steals your time away from your milk - b/c really, that's all you seem to care about right now anyway - you really seem to know who she is and that you are connected.  Often she speaks or sings to you while you are crying, and you stop immediately.  And your sister adores you already - although she doesn't love that you are taking her special time away from mommy during bedtime routine.  She touches you and kisses you and without prompting says, "I love you JoJo Bear."  She wants to help you get dressed and change your diaper and at nights, she will often ask if I can put you into her bed with her.

I feel that you are very advanced for your age.  You started out so alert when you are awake.  Your big sister didn't open her eyes regularly for a month- but there you are, taking the world in.  You seem to enjoy tummy time already but only for five minute intervals.  You just chill out and look around.  And while you are on your tummy, you hold your head up - at ONE MONTH!  You are very skilled to be able to do that already.  

You have a deliciously cute smile - I'm pretty sure it's not just gas anymore, but even if it is, it's adorable.  And like your sister, you have dimples which I love!

I have to apologize to you - From one week of age and still ongoing, I gave you the worst diaper rash.  It's actually a diaper burn.  The summer fruits that I was consuming in mass quantities was not so kind to you - the acid from the fruits coming through my milk was burning you on the way out.  You were so raw you were bleeding just from a light touch.  And it took 4 weeks to heal and even still there is still some burn and only a thin layering of skin over the burn.  I'm so sorry - I eliminated the fruits as soon as I found out it was from me.  And I'm not even drinking my iced tea.  

The best thing so far is that you know what to do at night.  You sleep.  Yes, you wake up to feed every 2 to 3 hours.  And yes there was that 18 hour feeding frenzy before a growth spurt.  But for the most part, you feed and go right back to sleep.  Thank you!!!!

Dear J-Bear, mommy and big sister SR love you so much.  I can't wait to watch you and SR grow together and foster a relationship with each other.  

Here is your one month photo album:

JM is one month

I love you JoJo Bear.

Love mommy!