Cycle Day 3 of Transfer Cycle

I am writing this post from W. My grandmother passed away and I came in with my parents for the funeral. I can only hope that this is a sign of "when one life ends, another begins" as I enter into my transfer cycle.

I spoke with the embryologist this week. I wanted to know the exact gradings of my embryos. So, here's what I found out. I have 9 embryos that were frozen on day 5. 4 of them are still pre-blastocysts...5 of them are AA (top quality) but only numbers 1 and 2 (as opposed to 3 and 4 which are more developed from what I understand). I am thinking that my little embryos are just slow to develop (kind of like me?) and that they are all pretty good. At least the 5 formed ones are AA...that's the best!!! So, the embryoligist suggested I transfer 2 embryos. I reminded him that at 2 days post ER he said I should only transfer one embryo. He told me that b/c the numbers are lower than 3 or 4, he said that 2 would be strongly recommended. So, 2 it is.

I guess now, if I have twins, it was meant to be for me and I'll handle whatever I get. Part of me is really hopeful for twins. Yes it will be harder during pregnancy, and yes it will be harder at the beginning, and yes there could be complications during pregnancy where I can't work or complications with the babies b/c I'd be having two, and the costs would be more for

• clothing
• feeding
• diapers
• car seats
• cribs
• on and on and on

But, wouldn't I eventually have those costs anyway by having 2 spread apart? But, I know I'll need to find that money now...well, I'd have 9 months to continue to save...and I'd probably need to invest in a bigger car than anticipated (mini-van?) to prepare for the double stroller...

BUT...I would have my ready made family. I wouldn't have to go through this again. No more morning clinic visits. No more drugs and procedures.

So, am I willing to take the chance that I might have twins? I mean, there is also the chance that neither embryo will stick and I'm back at square one.

I need to stay as relaxed as possible and just go with the flow. Pretty hard for me who loves to have everything in control and ordered (except my clutter).

Tomorrow is my CD4 appointment...full bladder (hopefully the last until I have full bladder u/s for checking the fetus). I'll find out my new estrogen protocol then.

THIS COULD BE IT!!! ...but no pressure :)