Another fever for S and Fertility Stuff

Scarlett woke up with a fever this morning.  And it's awful to say, but I rushed to get her the tempera and considered sending her to daycare.  What is wrong with me?  Anyway, I immediately changed my mind and got in touch with a work friend so I could email my plans and have her set up my desk for me.  I didn't bother asking my parents to take care of her today because they have really watched her more than their share.  I had a very easy day to plan for.  And we had a wonderful morning together.  We played in the tent, we looked out the window, there were "hugs" and lots of walking with the "walker".  I took her to walk in the hall, and then I decided she could go down the elevator and walk to the mail room with me.  Now she's napping.

Through all of this, I was on the phone with the fertility clinic A LOT this morning.  They have to book me for two procedures - a 3D u/s and a uterus biopsy.  On Monday the nurse told me this could be done on the same day.  Today I was told otherwise.  On Monday I was told I would hear from her on Tuesday with appointment dates, keeping in mind that I was unavailable next Tuesday.  No phone call yesterday so I left a message.  She called me back this morning telling me she was away yesterday (then why did you tell me you would call me on Tuesday???)  She said I was booked for my biopsy on Tuesday - I said, "remember I told you that Tuesday I am not available???"  And she also said that I had to have my 3D u/s on Thursday - tomorrow.  That means that I will have to take off today and tomorrow from work.  FRUSTRATING.  I asked if I could have the u/s today since I'm home from work anyway and can arrange babysitting.  She told me she would call me back.  So I waited and waited and waited.  Finally I called...and called...and called until the phone was answered.  The receptionist (who I'm sure is the same one who didn't get my chart and had me wait for 2 hours on Sunday based on her voice) said, "the dates are as they were arranged."  I said, "There were no dates arranged...I'm waiting for N. to call me back to discuss that with me."  Apparently N. was going to call me back, but didn't.  That's not acceptable.  I was waiting to see if I needed my parents for babysitting.  Needless to say, I started crying.

I cried b/c the only appointment time they could give me for tomorrow is 11:30.  That's smack dab in the middle of the day.  So I can't even take half a day off work, it has to be a full day...plus I was away today.  Then I have to go back to M. for 9am on Monday which means taking a 1/2 day on Monday, plus I'm away for a full day on Tuesday to go to a workshop.  That's a lot of absence right before grade 3 testing and I still have so many math units to cover in 3 weeks.

Also I've been having a little bit of subconscious anxiety.  I feel shaky quite a lot of the time.  I think it's b/c of everything that's heading my way.  I'm secretly going through all of the fertility stuff again, while being a mom...it's quite different from doing this secretly on my own.  My parents keep questioning me (mostly b/c Scarlett keeps getting sick and how will I manage it with two).  This makes me question my decision.  Plus I'm taking on this new position at school with the technology next year - it's a lot to learn and to change my teaching to make sure I'm integrating technology into everything that I do...I think that's causing me some stress.

I know stress is not great when heading into a FET cycle.  I need to find ways to destress.  I used to have the gym for that.  Yesterday I got out with the staff for the Tues./Fri. walk - but it's not very often that I can get to work for the 8am start time of the walk.  The shakiness is really bugging me...I put my day and night wrist splints on to help - I think carrying Scarlett has irritated my carpal and cubital tunnel syndromes, but the internal shaking is stress related.  The splints do help, though.

I'm not sure how many readers will read this far without even a cute picture of Scarlett...I better add one for my audience :)  I'll write again to update the status of Scarlett's ears.