Work is horrible. I am the teacher who LOVES my job. I didn't know how I was going to cope with being on mat leave with SR b/c I am a teacher - that is what I knew. When I returned to work after SR turned a year, I LOVED my job but missed my baby.
I HATE MY JOB. I cry every day at work - it is to the point where teachers have to step in to cover me so I can get myself together. The kids think I'm upset b/c of my dog Buddy, who is still alive and kicking 1 1/2 weeks after the vet said he had 3 days to live. Every day gets worse.
The class is challenging - but I've had challenging groups before...I have one student who is especially challenging....but that's not even the worst part. I can't get into the worst part....except to say that actions speak louder than words, and although I am told that I am "supported" in what is to me a harassment situation, I definitely do not feel supported and do not see that support.
So if this little 2AB makes it in this world, then it will be a miracle. Because one day post transfer to be stressed and crying at work does not seem like a hospitable environment. And if this little 2AB doesn't make it, I know I will feel resentful towards several people in question.
And I wish I had a thicker skin, but I don't. And if I didn't have to support myself and SR and a potential year of maternity leave I would be taking a stress leave - a stress leave from a job I love....WTF???
And the best part of my day was going to pick up SR at school - and having her run to me and hold my face and say "mommy pick me up. Scarlett's mommy is here." And then I realize that I should have a thicker skin b/c these bullies who are upset about their own problems don't matter in the grand scheme of things....b/c at the end of the day, they are stuck with themselves, and I get to come home to my beautiful girl. But in the moment, when SR is not with me, I get trapped in this mess that I call a job.
What I do have is cramping on and off in my abdomen today.....is that symptom number one?
I'm so sorry work is so miserable. That's just wrong. Sending you thick skinned thoughts and much love!
ReplyDeleteI'm positive the cramping is a VERY good symptom. Positive!
I really hope the cramping is the first of your symptoms! Hang in their with work....it will get better.
ReplyDeleteHope it gets better. Teaching politics are so tough. I really feel for you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry work sucks so much. I hate the thought of you having to endure that every day.
ReplyDeleteSending positive peaceful thoughts your way
Last year I was bullied at my school. Me--a grown woman, certified teacher and mom. It's awful and I am so, so sorry you are going through this now of all times. Please know that you have the support of so many people outside of that building. Try your best to leave the situation there when you leave for the day. (Believe me, I know that's next to impossible to do--but it's the best advice I can give from afar.) I will say that the horrible feelings of being victimized to eventually pass but why do we professionals have to go through them at all? I'm so sorry.
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