I knew when I woke up this morning that the news wouldn't be good...my gut was feeling terrible, and it always does that when I'm nervous. I drove out to M. for a 7:30 appointment. I put on my Taylor Swift CD and sang the entire way there. It helps to have a favourite CD while driving to medical appointments. When I was going through my other stuff almost two years ago, I would put on Avril and belt out those lyrics..."I hate you now so go away from me!!!"
I was the first appointment of the morning. I felt happy during my U/S b/c the tech told me that I had LOTS of follicles....what she didn't mention is that they aren't growing. The doctor told me that the Clomid didn't seem to work and that nothing was happening. My follicles are not growing and I will not be ovulating. He wants to see me again Wed. morning for another U/S to continue to monitor me.
I am discouraged...my fairy tale of this going so smoothly is shattering before my eyes. I can't even ovulate....even with the help of meds that are supposed to do it for me. I'm eating more and working out less...trying to fatten up a bit to make this go more smoothly...but it's not working. And now that I've decided I'm ready to have a baby, I don't want to wait...
Now I need to find ways to keep myself busy b/c the waiting is going to ruin me. I think dating will be easier on me now too because I know there's no pressure on me to have kids or get married to anyone...maybe I should try spending time with some new people...hmmmmm.
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