T42?????

Lately I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I should have a 2nd baby.  I've been weighing the pros and cons.  On one hand I love imagining a life of just Scarlett and I together, like the Gilmore Girls.  But on the other hand, I have very little close family.  My brother and his brood (wife and 5 children and counting) are very religious and live in Israel.  I have never met any of his 5 children.  They live a very different lifestyle than me.  Basically, Scarlett has me and my parents.  If anything were to happen to us, she would be all alone.

And so I've begun considering my options for two.  I posted on the choicemoms group a while back asking for input from other moms who have 2 or are wanting two.  I have decided that I would like my kids close together in age - this way I won't be holding Scarlett back from activities while I am stuck to a baby's schedule.  I live in a 2 bedroom condo...is this enough space for 2 kids and me?  I don't see why not.  But having the two little ones share a room will be disruptive during nap and sleep times when the future baby is crying.  At the same time, my brother has 4 of his kids in one room.  People do it.  Kids share rooms.  And a future baby with be in my room until he/she is approximately 4 months anyway.

I think my biggest issue now will be, how will I do early morning monitoring and get Scarlett to Daycare and get myself to work before the school bell.  I guess b/c I have embryos and I'm not going through the retrieving process it will be a little more simple, but I still have a 2 or more week process of monitoring while I'm placed on high doses of estrogen and progesterone.  That may be one cycle or two or more.  The summer won't be a problem but I'd like to start in May, so if I need a couple of monitoring cycles I don't end up in September during the stressful time at school.

I just spoke to my clinic and found out I will need a new referral even though they have my embryos.  So I figure I'll take a trip to my GP in April or so and get my referral.  I won't take a day off work for my consultation, I'll just go in to Mississauga on a Saturday or Sunday to meet with my doctor.  And then I'll figure it out with getting Scarlett to daycare and myself to the appointments.  Maybe my parents can drop Scarlett at daycare those mornings.

And I run into the same issue as last time I did this.  I don't want to publicize that I'm doing this.  So, those of you that follow my blog and are my friends out in the real world, please don't tell anyone that I'm considering doing this again.  I have a lot to think about...plus I'm not even back at work yet.  I need to figure out how things will go once I'm back at work.  And of course, I need to be at a healthy weight to conceive.  I'm assuming that once I'm breastfeeding less, and eventually not at all (so that I can be put on the estrogen I need) the pounds will come back to me and put me back in the healthy weight category.  In the meantime, I won't be this tiny forever, so I may as well just enjoy the fact that I can eat whatever I want and not gain a pound.

Okay, just to end things, I'm going to post my new favourite picture of Scarlett :)