A Hard Decision

I just emailed my principal and superintendent....I am EXTENDING MY LEAVE...if they let me.  I won't get paid any money, but I only want to extend for two months.

I do not feel that this daycare is the right fit...you're probably saying that it's just b/c it's hard to leave.  And it was hard to leave her, but I did it!  I took her to the daycare and stayed with her for about 15 minutes.  Then they had me "sneak out."....that was not something I would ever do.  I leave her with my parents every day and I ALWAYS say goodbye.  After I snuck out someone picked her up and put her in a high chair - Scarlett hates being picked up by anyone.  I heard her screaming.  The supervisor went to check on her and said she was eating and crying.

I did leave the building and came back an hour later.  She was upset.  The afternoon was off for her as well.

I had issues with the lunch.  They gave her pasta with cheese and mixed vegetables.  Sounds fine.  But that was it.  My Scarlett is used to a full meal...sandwich, vegetables, and yogurt with fruit.  Apparently if I want her to eat more than the main course I need to provide it.  WTF?  I'm paying good money for daycare.  When I brought her home today I had to give her lunch all over again.  Yes, I know she was upset and didn't want to eat, but even if she had, that wasn't enough for her.  Am I being too critical?

Anyway, I just do not get the feeling that this is the place for her.  Something in my gut.  But I've paid them a big deposit.

I haven't stopped crying all night.  My mom has encouraged me to extend my leave.  In the meantime I will look for alternate childcare, but hope that they keep my spot just in case at the current daycare.  But this also means 2 months of ZERO income.  My parents will loan me money for the mortgage if I need the help...but there goes my savings....and I'll never make back what I've lost....and how will I be able to save to stay off for another full year but with TWO kids?

But that last statement..."I'll never make back what I've lost"...but think about all that I'll gain by having two more months with my baby.  And my mom just said at that point she'll watch her for two days a week until I'm off in the summer.  So I'll only have to worry about daycare for three days a week.

I'VE ALREADY STARTED TEARING DOWN THE CLASSROOM AND SETTING IT BACK UP FOR ME....now I have to go back in and fix it...and I still haven't heard if I'm going to be granted the extended leave.  My eyes hurt from crying.