My dad is not happy

I think I'll start with a Scarlett intro - although I really need to just get into bed and should just get right to the point - Scarlett can now "count."...She's not even 15 months yet.  I start off, "1, 2,"....she sometimes says "3"....but if she doesn't she then will say, "4, 5" and I keep counting, "6, 7" and Scarlett says "8" and I finish with "9, and 10".  Every day I am more astounded by her knowledge.  Her vocabulary is so large I cannot keep up.  She has stopped saying "more" and simply signs and says please and gives me a cute little grin.  Like it is not worth her energy to say the word more, when she knows I really want to hear please :)

My June cover of Today's Parent - My little Scarlett on the cover

So, my dad has been mumbling to my mom about why I shouldn't have a second baby.  My wonderful dad who always keeps his opinions to himself (except when he told my mom that he HATED the first name I had originally selected for Scarlett) and is selfless.  He drops everything for everyone and dotes on Scarlett like you wouldn't believe.  Especially b/c he was never fully on board with my decision to become a choice mom to begin with.

My mom keeps saying to me, "speak to your father" when I talk about T42 - which is funny b/c that's never been an expression used in our home growing up.  I guess she's just sick of his mumbling to her and she wants him to tell me directly (which he never says anything negative to me directly - that was always my mom).  Today my mom pushed my dad to speak up to me.  I guess it was my fault for bringing up the topic in front of him.  I was simply asking about if they were available to babysit on a certain morning that I wanted to make an appointment with my RE or if I should book it early and take her with me (it's not for a daycare day).

My dad said, "I don't think you've thought this through.  A child needs a father.  And are you going to have a boy share Scarlett's room?"....which, if you know my brother's family situation, you may find that amusing.  My brother is ULTRA ULTRA RELIGIOUS.  We don't see him.  I think of him being in a cult.  He has 5 children (and I wouldn't be surprised to hear that the next one is on the way).  They live in a 2 bedroom apt and all of the children (except the baby) share one small room.  Boys and girls.  So for my dad to question if I could have a boy and girl share the same room....that was pretty funny.  That's what he's wondering if I have thought things through.

I just kind of fluffed him off and turned back to my mom and waited for her response, to which she said, of course she will watch Scarlett, she loves spending time with her.

All things aside, I think b/c I know my dad feels I am "wronging" Scarlett and baby to be by not providing them with a father, I have only asked for help a couple of times (other than babysitting which they love to do).   There were a few times where my dad ran out to the drug store for me at night so I wouldn't have to take Scarlett with me to fill a prescription for her (something I could have done, but they insisted - but I get a lecture after that telling me that I need "help").  Once I asked for my mom to come over when Scarlett was about ten weeks old b/c I really wanted to eat dinner and she just wouldn't settle, and it wasn't convenient, and I got a lecture about the fact that I need "help".  This taught me not to ask for help.  I don't need the lecture.  And so I became VERY efficient at doing things.  Don't get me wrong, my family does HELP me so much.  But some of it is b/c they don't want me taking her to run errands when they can play with her - so I get to go to the grocery store myself, get the groceries home and then go and pick her up.  But it is at their insistence that I do that, not mine.  They do a lot of babysitting - mostly so I can tutor or go to appointments...and occasionally I ask for some social time out, but that is very rare and I get only specific times (like a weeknight where I can leave my house at 8pm and I must be back by 9:30).  However, I think my parents are doing daycare pickup on Thursday so I can go straight from work to see the Hunger Games with a friend.  I'll still have Scarlett home in time for bed.

How do I make my dad see that I can provide for my children?  Let's face it, all teenagers hate their parents at some point....mine can hate me for not giving them a father.  But I think I'm doing a great job, and my dad is so devoted to Scarlett (also his other grandkids are so far away he never sees them) and I know he will be just as devoted to a future baby.