The best thing about having Scarlett is that I am just so calm around her. I didn't freak out about anything like my friends who are new parents seem to do. I just rolled with the punches. Some of my friends follow certain books to the letter and get frustrated when their babies don't do what they should - they have even labelled my baby using terms from their books. I read a lot of books...but I didn't follow them. I followed Scarlett and things worked out. She naps and sleeps well...she eats well....and I knew nothing about babies before having Scarlett, nor did I prepare in any way before her arrival - I was in a little bit of denial.
And now I am starting to have lots of questions about having a second baby. And my questions will probably all resolve themselves if/when a new baby arrives. I will go with my gut and follow both of my children. But still the questions linger.
 |
| Peek-a-Boo! |
If I'm successful on my first or second FET, Scarlett will be just over two when new baby arrives. I will have the baby in my room for the first several months, but then will transfer him/her to share Scarlett's room - the two bedroom condo leaves me little options. I know that children have been sharing rooms forever! But wouldn't the kids wake each other up? For example, lately Scarlett goes down quietly (enough that I jump in the shower with the monitor in the bathroom with me right after I put her down), but then she starts babbling away and then will sometimes cry for me to come. Wouldn't one child's disturbances bother the other?
What about bath time? I know that eventually they could be in the tub together...but at first, how would I juggle getting both clean at separate times? Although, now that I'm thinking about it, I could alternate bath nights.
How do I safely carry Scarlett around while pregnant? I know that women have always carried their children while pregnant - but last time I was told to not lift anything heavy...and my parents would INSIST on coming over to do my vacuuming for me :)
I know it will all work out in the end. I am just a little apprehensive as I grow closer to transferring.
In the meantime, I'm nervous about upcoming monitoring - juggling waking Scarlett up an hour earlier than she is used to waking up and taking her to daycare for 7am, and hoping I can still get my monitoring done and to my school before the bell rings (and still get a parking spot). It was easy when it was just me...I would take 6:30 appointments and not worry about being late. Poor Scarlett will have her whole day thrown off with being woken up early.
Should you change Scarlett's wake up time starting now so it's not such a shock. I'm not sure if it'd be worth it but may make the transition easier...alternatine bath nights seems practical...I'd wonder about picking Scarlett up too, there's some situations you couldn't avoid like into the crib/car seat/etc...wow, this is a completely unhelpful comment :)
ReplyDeleteI do like what you said about the books & just following Scarlett's ques...I read a lot of books/internet & really overwhelmed myself, especially when Elena wouldn't do what the books said she should or would. I thought I must be a failure or that something may be wrong with her. The best thing I did was throw all that out of my mind & just go with the flow.
My best advice is to worry about one thing at a time. Set those worries about how you'll handle two to the side and figure that out when you're actually pregnant. Then you'll know how old Scarlett will be when #2 arrives, etc. Fiona was 2 when Carys was born, and I couldn't lift her for 6 weeks due to C-section, and it worked. Luckily I had already moved her into a big girl bed, and I just put a little step stool in front of her carseat so she could climb up there herself, and other than that she just knew I had to sit down before she could climb into my lap. etc etc etc. there's always a way!
ReplyDeleteYou're immediate concerns are enough - the doctor's appts and if you have lifting or activity restrictions in pregnancy (are you certain to or just worried about it? I lifted Fiona throughout my pregnancy, as well as much-too-heavy bags of dogfood etc, but I didn't have restrictions). You may just end up relying on your parents help and having to grin and bear it if they lay a guilt trip on you!
You can do it!
Like Claire said - I think you should leave the worries of how and what with two for when they are relevant and I think sometimes the solution might be easier than what we thought. For example with the bath, maybe by the time you have baby #2, Scarlet will be big enough to watch a short TV programme while you wash the little one? And Scarlet have a bath after little one goes to sleep? Or like you said, alternate days? And as for the crying at night, I heard the many times siblings aren't awakened by their siblings crying.
ReplyDeleteI mean there are probably many issues to do with having two, maybe some we haven't thought about, but I'm sure that for every issue there is a solution. And there are mum's with two who I'm sure would help with great advice, so I don't think I would worry too much about that.
As for the present, yes, I can relate to the difficulties of ttc with a toddler. Hope it doesn't mess her day up too much.
I'm so glad you're sharing all this as you go through it, as I'll hopefully be not too far behind you in T42. I really hope that Scarlett deals with these schedule changes with ease and makes the whole process of TTC much easier than you anticipate!
ReplyDeleteI worried about being alone and pregnant with #2 as well. You just deal with things as they come up. Some things don't get done, others get done differently. The fact that you are anticipating now means you will be as prepared as possible.
ReplyDeleteTry to get a copy of Three Shoes, One Sock and No Hairbrush by Rebecca Abrams. I read it after the fact but it still helped lift my spirits on those difficult days. If you can't find a copy, I still have mine--I can send it to you, (somehow)