I'm really okay!

 I thought I'd start out with a cute picture of Scarlett....she always makes me smile, so I thought she would make you smile also :)

Thank you all for such encouraging words.  I have said it before, and I'll say it again - it's so nice to know that there are people out there in cyberspace who care what I am going through.

I had another beta this morning.  I felt symptoms all day.  The numbers came back even lower - 68 - dropping from 76.

I am still on meds.  My RE is out of town and the nurse has to wait for confirmation from him.  I told her that I want to gradually stop the estrogen - I don't see how I can stop it cold turkey as it is almost like a mood enhancer for me.  Darn, now I have to go back to washing my hair every day ;)  She didn't think that would be a problem.

I was reading online about how long a m/c can take to start after stopping the meds.  Most women say after stopping progesterone it was only 2-3 days.

I'm happy that I got pregnant on my first try with Scarlett and again with my first try now with only one embryo this time.  This embryo was originally frozen, thawed when I was transferring for Scarlett, refrozen, rethawed for this transfer.  Honestly, that's one of the things I wonder about.  How much can these little embryos go through.  I have five embryos left - 4 of them look good according to the embryologist.  But who knows if they will survive the thaw?  I have 3 vials of sperm if I want to go through the ER all over again.  But I'm hoping one of these embryos will work.  My point above though, which I got sidetracked, was that I can get pregnant.  I did it twice in a row.  I'm hoping that my numbers get down to zero quickly.  The nurse told me that as soon as my numbers are zero the RE will start the prevara....but could he do that immediately following a m/c?  Isn't that a lot of blood to lose in a short amount of time?  And I'm worried about the vertigo that could happen during the m/c.

I'm okay today - I've shed so many tears.  I think I will shed more when it actually happens.  But today I'm okay.  I came home to my beautiful girl who makes everyone smile.  We ate dinner together and played and read books.

I just emailed my principal to set up a meeting with her.  I know it's premature but I'm worried b/c this is the last week of school.  School ends a week tomorrow.  There is a very strong possibility I will be absent or just not feeling well at school.  I have already told staff members I may not be at the end of year parties due to babysitting - not sure if I will have my parents available.  This is my cover in case I'm not feeling well.  I just think it's important for my principal to know why I could potentially not be at school the last week or just not feeling well and that I need it covered up w/out other staff knowing.  And knowing me, I'll cry!