My emotions are running away with me. I'll start with yesterday, but I'm pretty much over that one now, and then I'll move into today.
Yesterday I took SR to the pediatrician. She has had the WORST diaper rash ever - and the only times she's every gotten diaper rash is when teething - so always short lived. Last week the ped put her on cortozone cream for 7 days - cleared everything up but by day 5 there was a fresh, red, raw rash starting in her "crevice" from front to back. I took her back yesterday b/c obviously the cortezone wasn't helping. I also wanted her cold checked out - ears especially.
There was a med student there. The Dr sent her in with us right away and said he would come in soon. Poor SR was thrown way off. She's used to settling into the room, and doing her "routines." We go to the doctor often enough that she knows she has a few minutes to look around the room, step on the scale, put on her sunglasses and sit on the step stool, put the glasses away, try to climb the step stool, and so on. There was no time for this. Let's just say she was MISERABLE. The student DR was not confident...very nervous.
**** Just a side note, I'm a teacher, and I had to learn through practise and observation, and I respect the teaching process...but I was not happy the way this was done yesterday using my 2 year old as a guinea pig.
She was reluctant to look in her ears, and couldn't hold her still properly to get her mouth open. The doctor came in a few minutes later and the med student had to present what she found. I wanted to explain it in my words...she got it wrong. I was angry b/c he took way too long doing normally very quick checks. The med student said her tonsils were swollen. So, the ped held the stick in SR's mouth while he explained that it was just from the nasal drip and she needed to look to see....poor SR went from gagging and gagging to silently stunned - and I couldn't believe I stood there and didn't say "ENOUGH!" Then he looked in her ears and asked her if the tubes were present. She said she didn't know what they looked like. So he had her look around her ears trying to find them. COME ON!!!!
And my main purpose for going was the diaper rash. And he kind of fluffed me off..."it's a rash." I reminded him that she doesn't usually get a diaper rash - and one this raw and red and I can't even change her. He said it was no big deal. Just to use lots of barrier cream.
I called my friend and cried the whole way home. I'm supposed to be her advocate and yet I didn't want to rustle the doctor's feathers.
Then tonight I was changing SRs diaper to get her ready for bed, and I noticed a dark mark on her inner thigh. And then I saw the same mark on the other thigh.
I know from all my years of teaching and noticing child abuse (and I'm not saying she was abused) is that bruises on the inner arm or inner thigh are not normal bruises. If I put my hand around her thigh, my thumb lands exactly where the bruises are on both sides. My hunch is that one of her teachers changing her diaper held her legs down/open so she could be changed. SR is squirming a lot during diaper changes lately b/c it hurts her so much.
But I told the intake teacher this morning that they should be very gentle and just pat her...they don't need to get all the poo...I understand. I guess my message wasn't passed on.
So now I'm stuck. Do I approach the supervisor or the teachers? They have always cared for her gently and I've never had a problem, but this is a BIG problem. Coming home with two bruises on her inner thigh is awful...and will not make her sit for a diaper change easier.
I don't believe in violence of any kind with children - I don't even raise my voice at my students (no matter how much I want to some times just start screaming)....But I don't want to accuse.
In the mornings the supervisor often isn't there yet, and there is usually only one classroom teacher, and it's not usually the head teacher for the classroom. I think I have to say something to the supervisor and the teachers...I'm stuck and I need to advocate for SR...
And I just want to cry. Is it hormones? Is it just me feeling everything SR feels or could feel? Or is it combined with a facebook post on a group I belong to for moms where a woman wrote yesterday that her 21 month old daughter died in her sleep yesterday? I'm just a wreck.
Any feedback tonight would be very helpful before I react wrongly tomorrow morning.
It may be a little bit hormones but all of those things would have me upset as well. It's very intimidating to find your voice to stand up to a Dr so don't beat yourself up about that & I bet if it were to happen again, you'd have more confidence speaking up when remembering how this time felt & what you wished you'd done.
ReplyDeleteAs for the bruises...take pictures ASAP. Then at least you have immidiate evidence if you want to take some time to think about approaching the school. But I think the bruises warrents a conversaton with them. Even unintentional bruises from a rough diaper change need to be addressed & you can reinforce what you've already told them.
As for your friend's loss, how tragic & gut wrenching...every mother's nightmare! Of course you'd be upset, hormones or not.
I hope things get better with SR's rash...for Elena's very worst bum rashes good ol'fashioned vaseline seems to help better than anything else.
Message me know if there's anything I can do. Hugs
I am so sorry that you are going through so much! Don't beat yourself up over the doctor's office visit - there are MANY times that I have been too stunned to react. I would however, call today and request that NO student doctors be allowed to work with SR and make sure they put it in her records. If you are not comfortable with it (and you should not be - no one should use a sick toddler for a learning tool), you can call them today and make your feelings known.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the daycare - I second the note above about the pictures. I would also tell EVERYONE you can at that school - from the first person you see to anyone you can get on the phone - about the marks. I know my daughter would resist (putting it midly) having her diaper changed when she has a horrible rash and the thought that anyone was holding her down forcefully to clean up is heart wrenching. I would also follow up any conversation with an email so that it's on record.
I'm so sorry for your friend as well for her loss - that's just unimaginable.
Don't feel bad about the doctor's office, but do consider advocating for her when you can. I like the suggestion about calling and stating no med students. Or you could always talk to SR about how doctor's learn; she's bright so she might get it?? The hospital the babies and I were at was a teaching hospital and it gets old sometimes.
ReplyDeleteAs for the bruises, that is a HUGE issue. I would be talking to the director and documenting everything. In the U.S. that is something that should be reported to social services. I can't imagine having to deal with this, but I wouldn't want to take my child back there. Did SR say anything about it to you?
I think your concern for SR is well-founded. Follow your instincts, talk to the director and make sure she understands what you are telling her. As for the med student, hindsight is 20/20. In the moment I would have kept quiet too. After processing the whole thing though, I'd be hopping mad. If this situation ever occurs again, you can always refuse to the a med student touch your child. If asked why, definitely give the doctor an earful.
ReplyDeleteIn the moment it's hard to say something to the Resident but you can request that they not be there for the next round. As for the bruises, I feel the same as everyone else, for sure say something to the director, in my experience, instinct is most often correct.
ReplyDeleteI'd be angry too. I would definitely say something to the director. So sorry that this happened.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tiara about talking about the bruises. They may have meant well, but it is still wrong to forcefully change a diaper. Hope the rush is better by now.
ReplyDeleteAs the the student doctor - how annoying! (I remember when Butterfly was just 5 days old and I had to take her to the hospital and there was a med student going through everything and how awful that was! [though it was more about me being after a difficult birth than about my baby daughter]).