Time to say goodbye!

I'll get right to the point.  My gestational sac was still the only thing visible and not nearly close to being big enough to be a viable pregnancy.  I was surprisingly calm throughout the entire u/s.  I went in feeling okay either way - surprising b/c I was awake most of the night - insomnia/worrying got the better of me and I read in bed from 2am - 4:30.  Then Scarlett woke up at 6 - her wonderful new wake up time.  Luckily we now snuggle in my bed until 7:30 while she watches Dora and I hold onto her and keep my eyes closed :)

I only cried when I came out of the u/s room and my mom asked me how it went.  The RE walked out of his office briefly to talk to the secretary and he motioned to me that he was so sorry.  He said he was just waiting for the report.


We decided to go the medicated route.  I took two Misoprostal vaginally at 3:30 - if nothing happens in 6 hours I'm supposed to take two more.  It's been more than 4 hours and the cramping is getting a little more intense when I stand up, but otherwise there is no bleeding yet.  I am probably looking at having to take the second two pills.  I only hope that SR sleeps through the night.  Depending on how painful this gets, I will have to decide if I'm going to take the Tylenol #2s that I was given.  I worry b/c it has codeine and I need to be able to be alert for SR.  After my c-section I just took regular Tylenol and Advil together every 4 hours and never took anything stronger.  Will the pain be more intense than that?  I never went through labour so I really don't know what to expect.  I do have a high pain tolerance.  I'm thinking I should just take some Advil now...such a hard decision.

Hopefully this will clear me out and my numbers will return to zero quickly.  Although I will grieve the life SR and I would have shared with this new little baby, I will pick up the pieces and try again.  I hope that I can get pregnant and carry a baby to term again.  If not, I feel so lucky to have my little "babe" who teaches me so much every day.

I think a hot cup of tea and relaxing with a movie - oh wait, big brother is starting soon - is in order for the evening.

I'm just soooooo thirsty today - I'm not sure why.  I usually don't drink very much at all in a typical day.  I wonder if that is a side effect.

Anyway, another hour and a half until I should take the next dose.  This is going to be a VERY long night and morning getting to SR if I'm not feeling well.  Hopefully this passes quickly.

Thanks again to all of you for your support and guidance.  I'm so glad to be a part of this amazing community!